"I keep telling you I'm a god," he said around his own mouthful. But then it was story time. "Alright, so, when a friend of mine and I were kids, we were pretty poor so one thing we'd do is wait and see if folks dropped off old sofas or whatever on the curb and then go gut them in search of hidden money or anything else we can sell. We were't the only ones with this idea so it was a real lions and hyenas kind of deal. I used to be a good three feet shorter than this if you can believe it."

He paused and took another bite of brownie.

"So when we heard our neighbor was going to dump their sofa soon we got this fantastic idea. They were going to the store that day to get the new sofa. So we thought, hey, why don't we just STEAL the old one and save them the trouble of hauling it off. Naturally we tried to fit it through the window and down a third story fire escape."