theattic | [MEME] TEST DRIVE

"Oh, totally. I am very cool. You should try it." All of this was said in a perfectly conversational, though slightly flat tone. Her paw pads on her bare foot were starting to tingle from the cold as she kicked her feet.

"I've been Nowhere. It was nice. Got one of those commemorative spoons and everything!"

"I think I'll pass for now, but thanks for the hot tip."

Bending down, she picks up the boot in one feathery hand, dusting the snow off of it. Then she waggles it.

"You want this back? Or is frostbitten toes another part of the pastime?"

Mae's dogbitten ear twitched.

"They are not and I would appreciate that very much." Then she spread her feet apart and brought her heels together a few times. "THROW IT!"

As weird as it is, this is possibly one of the most pleasant greetings she's gotten upon first entering a new town in awhile.

Stepping back a little bit, the crow wound up like a baseball pitcher, then hurled the boot straight into the air.

She's got pretty good aim, so it's definitely headed at Mae... but specifically getting it directly between the heels is a little tougher.

There is a very high chance that Mae Borowski is about to get beaned in the crotch with her own boot.

Edited 2017-11-29 09:51 (UTC)

This was just gonna be like batting practice with Gregg!

Aw man, Gregg and Angus were gonna be leaving so soon. She missed them and they weren't even gone yet! They had pushed up their departure date. Probably because the lot of them were responsible for a questionable number of peoples' deaths but maaaaan. Who was she gonna go to Donut Wolf with!

WHOCK!

Mae let out a strangled meow as her boot nailed her right between the legs. Her eyes narrowed as the world went blurry from tears. Tears that felt like they were already starting to frost over.

All things considered, she had shut her legs in time to catch the boot.

"Got it."

--oh shit.

As soon as she threw it, she kind of knew exactly what was going to happen, and her hands fly up to cover her beak, eyes wide. In many ways, Heather Mason is shameless-- but nailing someone right in the unmentionables less than five minutes after meeting them is kind of a record.

"--sorry!"

... And then, "... How are you gonna put it on?"

The world was a white and blue blur.

"With my witch powers. Observe."

Carefully, very very carefully, Mae uncurled her fingers on one hand and reached down to take hold of the boot. The power line bobbed in the wind and she was finally forced to blink away the tears as her weight centered all on her right arm.

Her boot-wielding hand shook as she brought a knee up to her chest. One of her fingers slipped the wire. Mae grunted as her foot and boot neared one another but swerved at the last second, like two positive-poled magnets.

"Almost..."

TWONG!

Mae fell to earth like an outcast angel and landed face-up in the snow.

You don't need latent psychic abilities to have seen what was coming here.

The little crow, all semblance of cool banter gone, watched with an expression that was somewhere between a wince and a literal mouthing of the words 'Oh no' as the situation unfolded before her very eyes.

Then she crunch-cronched over cautiously, original destination (vague as it was) temporarily forgotten.

"Well, shit. You, uh... you dead, or what?"

For a beat, Mae didn't move or speak. She couldn't. The wind had been knocked out of her from the fall and for several horrifying seconds she thought she was dying, going back to the hole, and she knew in her heart of hearts that Sharkle wouldn't be there.

But finally, with a huge gasp, Mae sat bolt upright with her red eyes huge.

"Crumbly. Blue. Hairy. Tall. Slimy. Big. Hell yeah, I can still use adjectives! Take that, mom!"

Mae promptly fell back into the snow.

Oh god.

IS SHE LITERALLY DEAD?

Heather was already a person of interest in a literal murder, she didn't need a potential manslaughter charge in some random town on top of that.

For a brief second or two, she looked around to see if anyone else was walking around and could see what was going on, and then the cat sat up and started yelling scrabble options.

"Uh-- wow, yeah, those sure were some adjectives."

This town is fucking weird.

"Haha yeah! So, you wouldn't know about this since you're not a local, but there's this girl named Suzie Kushner that my mom likes to harp on about to get me to stay off the power lines. She apparently got super electrocuted and lost a whole part of speech. But I still got it!"

Story told, Mae grabbed up her boot and popped it onto her chilly foot. There! She was complete once again. She was just...gonna lay here a while. Yeah.

"Did you come in on the bus? I think some kind of local spirit works at the bus station. He's a janitor there and he steals soda at night."

Electrocuted.

Well, she'd never heard of someone losing the ability to use a certain kind of word from getting zapped, but THERE YOU GO SHE SUPPOSES.

"Uh, no. Off the highway. But I'd believe it."

Does she look like she takes the bus?

... Well, maybe.

But she totally hitch-hiked in.

Gotta save money.

"I'm just passing through. You gonna be okay?"

You're like twelve what are you doing on the power lines anyway.

Mae slowly climbed to her feet and took a few staggering, bow-legged steps away before turning back around.

"I'm great! That's an adjective." She smirked, clearly proud of herself, before looking back up at the wires. They swayed in the breeze as snowflakes wove their way around them. For a moment it looked as though the gears were actually turning behind those wide red eyes. "It's chilly up there anyway. I guess I'll give it a rest 'till spring."

"Probably not the worst idea."

Okay so nobody was dying. Danglecat looked a little off-kilter but frankly she had no way of knowing whether or not that was the case to begin with so she wasn't gonna worry about it. Crisis averted.

The crow stuffed her hands into her pockets. She'd lost a glove a few weeks back and then lost the other one two days ago. Not fun.

"So... where can an out-of-towner find something to eat in this place? I thought there was a supermarket back there but then it turned out to be super fuckin' abandoned."

And she didn't like abandoned places anymore. Not after what happened.

"Ooh, yeah, you don't wanna go in there. That place is haunted. By assholes. Named Steve. What you want is to go to the Click Clack!"

She threw her paws in the air.

"Best worst pizza in town! I, Mae, will be your knowledgeable tour guide and show you the way."

Best worst? She'll take it.

If it's bad, that usually means it's cheaper.

"Thanks. I could eat a truck."

Also, AHA, Danglecat has a name.

She might just keep mentally referring to her as Danglecat though.

It's got a ring to it.

She hitches her backpack up a little higher on her shoulders. She's been walking with it for awhile now-- the last car wasn't actually heading into this town and had dropped her off down the highway. Could have gone to one of the bigger towns but she'd been tired and the dude behind the wheel had smelled bad and looked creepy.

"Also, I'm Hazel."

Because GUESS :) WHO :))) NEEDED A NEW :)))))) NAME :))))))))) AFTER WHAT HAPPENED.

"You could chip a tooth."

Mae warned her in her very serious voice before turning around again and starting to lead the way. She made eye-contact with several pigeons that roosted overhead on the power lines and hummed to herself, eventually hopping up and doing a very unnecessary spin jump off a mailbox that bent under her weight.

"Where you going, Hazel? Nowhere didn't sound like the place for you."

Her feet had been sore and kind of numb from walking in the snow, but the thought of getting some bestworst pizza into her breathed new life into her stride.

"Dunno. Wherever. Not really too picky."

As much as she'd moved around growing up, she'd never actually left the state of Maine. Not even on a field trip.

But she'd been in and out of several states now.

"Oh." Mae looked over her shoulder at Hazel, eyes wide and curious. "Are you a Crusty? You should talk to Germ! I bet he could tell you directions to somewhere worth going or hook you up with someone who does. Germ's a real good guy, he saved my life!"

Exposition cat chattered on until the yellow glow of a restaurant either shaped like or literally built in an old trolley car swallowed them up. Mae stepped up beside the little stairs and bowed with a grand sweeping gesture.

"We have arrived."

"... A crusty?"

If she sounded a little offended, it's because she kind of is.

BUT... shitty diner food makes up for potentially having her hygiene insulted. And is also for the moment a little more important than finding out who 'Germ' is. So, smirking a little at the bow, she hops up onto the stairs and reaches for the door.

"Well, thanks for the guiding, Danglecat."

Oh. She said that out loud. Whoops. Oh well. It's better than 'Crusty'.

[MEME] TEST DRIVE

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