"What-- no, JW, it's not your fault. You warned me to be careful and I went directly against what you told me. You didn't do anything wrong."
He started to open his mouth to respond to that, but in the end nothing came to mind. All he could do was take an uncertain step closer - and then, hesitantly, even with his mind made up, Ginko reached out and took JW's hand.
He really, really hoped he wasn't misreading body language here, because if he was he might have to come up with an excuse and leave again, taxidermy nightmare wolf or none.
JW had actually started to turn away and opened his mouth to say something about how Ginko could make it up to him by telling him that his cooking was great, but then something unexpected happened. He actually gave a little jump at suddenly being grabbed. They'd prodded and--well okay JW had prodded and tugged in Ginko countless times to get his attention during their adventures but this felt different. Or his brain really really wanted it to.
Since when did Ginko take hold of him?
He was so unprepared that he didn't have time to hide the color creeping into his nose.
"It's, ah-- it's. It's okay!" THIS IS TORTURE WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? HE'S ALREADY GIVEN UP! HE WAS DUMB TO THINK--ALSO WHY ISNT HE LETTING GO? "Haha you must...really have a fever after all you're burning up."
Well, to be fair, it wasn't like Ginko wasn't slowly turning red. He also was continuing not to let go, which at this point may have partly just been because he had kind of forgotten how to.
"Ah... right. Listen, I need to say--"
As soon as those words were out of his mouth, he hesitated again. After all that had happened today, he was tempted to just get it over with. Just say it, come what may, but...
But there was still that nagging fear in the back of his mind that Deuteronomy was wrong, and even if she was right...
He didn't even know what he was afraid of anymore.
JW kept looking at their hands and hating himself for being so hopeful. However, Ginko's words put him in mind of an entirely different situation--something that he would have kept secret from him. JW knew a thing or two about secrets and Ginko never seemed to want to be a bother.
"I think you're right...but listen. If there's something wrong--really wrong, we can get you medical attention. My time period--we can cure a lot of things. We've got--vaccines and all kinds of..." He glanced up at Ginko's face and tried to read it. WAS HE GOING TO DIE?
Ginko started to open his mouth to reply - and then he closed it.
And he stared at JW.
"...What? No, that's not--" He shook his head, letting out a quiet, nervous sound that wasn't quite a laugh. He reached up with his free hand to rub at the back of his neck, and he still didn't let go of JW. He might have forgotten he was holding his hand at all.
"I'm fine, I'm not actually sick at all. Promise." Because he knew perfectly well that he tended to... stretch the truth where his health was concerned. But that wasn't the issue right now.
JW SURE HADN'T FORGOTTEN. He was trying hard to keep himself from squeezing Ginko's hand back. His whole arm was tense, but he was listening now. When Ginko promised that he wasn't ill, the world-walker's feathers unruffled just so.
"Yeah?"
He had to admit he was still wondering about that. A small part of his brain had wondered if he'd left the room to fart. Maybe that was some kind of manners thing where he was from? But from the look on his friend's face he doubted that was it.
JW's brain went to strange places when he was trying not to get his hopes up.
He nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor as he tried to organize his thoughts into some kind of sentence, totally oblivious to JW's ongoing speculation.
"I had... finally realized something that I probably should have a while ago, and I... guess I just didn't know how to process it. Come to think of it, I'm not sure I know now. I had thought maybe I should just... go back and think it over, but I don't know if that even would have helped."
Get to the point, a small part of his mind urged. The rest was busy trying to figure out how to do that - and there was something he had to know for sure first.
"Deuteronomy stopped me, and... she told me something that I'm going to need your confirmation on." He finally looked JW in the eye, trying not to think about how ridiculous his words sounded even to him. "How do you feel about me?"
JW slowly tilted his head one way and then the other--a habit he'd picked up from Deuteronomy-- as Ginko fumbled through his thought process. In the span of time it took him to get to the point, JW made up several scenarios. Was Ginko afraid of upsetting the timeline? Had JW done something to offend him and Ginko had just been reluctant to say anything? THEY WERE BEING HUNTED BY THE GOVERNMENT?
Wwhen the wolf was brought up, JW's brow furrowed. "Aw, Deut, what the hell'd she go and do now?"
And then Ginko told him.
For a moment, JW just blinked and wondered if he'd heard that right. Then a jolt ran straight through him and he actually pulled his hand away. It wasn't a recoil of disgust, however, as was evident by his turning scarlet. A lopsided grin finally broke out across his face and he lifted both hands in a helpless shrug.
"Y'caught me. But don't worry about it--I figured out a while ago you weren't interested. I've been tryin' to back off, but damn it, you don't make it easy!" A weak laugh. "Sorry if I made you feel cornered."
Ginko winced a little when JW pulled away, moving to reach after him for just an instant before curling his fingers helplessly and dropping his hand by his side again.
But... at least JW didn't seem to be horrified by the suggestion. So it was better than it could be.
Then he blinked, his brow furrowing. "I wasn't... JW, I didn't even know until today! And, hell, the only reason it even came up is because I finally figured out that I--"
His voice caught again, that rush of anxiety coming back - along with his face turning another shade redder.
They probably look like a pair of nervous tomatoes by now.
"What? Are you serious? This whole time I thought you were bein', you know, polite about the whole thing."
Ginko had cemented himself in JW's mind as someone who was polite at all given times. Probably because he hadn't seen him actually deal with dumb people who mixed with mushi wrong in person.
JW leaned down just a little so that he could look up into Ginko's face should he try to look away again. He didn't prompt him again, he didn't want to push him even more. He would wait.
He gave a quiet, weak laugh. "Believe me, if I knew and wasn't interested, you would have known for sure."
Given that, you know. The last time Ginko actually picked up on someone being attracted to him (because she had just told him outright) he had just left then and there.
It took him another few seconds to get himself to talk again. "It only came up because... well, I don't know when it happened, but I guess at some point I started feeling the same."
The last part came out in a rush, and Ginko was looking about ready to bolt again.
"Oh..." So Ginko was just...a wall. Okay. BUT HE WOULD ADDRESS THAT LATER because he was still talking. JW straightened back up and listened. And then he started feeling sort of wobbly. It was a rare rare thing for him to give up hope on something only for something to turn out well in the end.
"Oh," he said. And that time he didn't do anything to push back the enormous, slightly gappy grin. "W-well then! That makes--" And then that god-awful laughter started. He couldn't stop it. He just stood there and laughed and covered his face with a hand and wheezed a little and couldn't stop smiling. "Damn it I--" Still laughing. "Gimmi a minute!" Tears started forming in his eyes. "I don't-- remember what I was going to say! You wanna--you wanna give it a shot?"
Despite everything, Ginko blinks in surprise at JW's response, only starting to relax a moment later. He gave another nervous laugh - apparently JW's was infectious - and took an uncertain half-step forward.
"Yeah! Yeah, I--things just don't--haha! You know, I feel a little like a dog who's been chasing cars all day and now he's finally caught one."
Needless to say, JW did not plan very far in advance for this one.
He noticed that step forward. His whole body was running on overdrive now. He'd gotten confirmation. Suddenly things meant more. Suddenly he had permission for...a lot of things, he felt like. He didn't have to worry about coming off the wrong way because it was okay. He was excited and he was allowed to be excited.
He suddenly brought up both hands and clapped them onto Ginko's shoulders. "Sorry. Tryin' not to float off here."
"That's-- it's good to hear, I guess." Ginko couldn't even think of an analogy for his end. It was just... new. New, and more welcome than he had expected.
He started for a moment, as always, at the contact, then just laughed again and reached up to place a hand on one of JW's. "I... think I know what you mean."
He couldn't stop grinning. It was getting hard to talk. This guy who he'd been trailing around behind for months was putting his hand on his.
Obviously the proper response to this is to butt your head against his chest and start laughing again. Only now it's more like wheezing. Something broke, but JW was okay with it. Finally he drew his head away and put an arm around the broader man.
Ginko kept his hand on JW's, placing the other tentatively on his shoulder in case the guy was about to collapse or something. His face was still red, and he didn't even bother trying to suppress the slightly-nervous-looking grin spreading over his face.
He gave a nod, slightly startled by how comfortable he was with JW's arm around him like this (and vaguely remembering a bitterly cold day some time ago, out in the mountains in Japan).
"Great! Because I made a shitload of tacos because I got distracted." With his arm still around the larger man, he turned and just started...bodily dragging him out the door. Because he was allowed. "Somehow my egg timer wound up on the ceiling fan."
"Beats the hell out of me," he muttered, having a good idea of who put it up there but not WHY.
The kitchen smelled amazing and on the counter was a tiny assembly line for the tacos. Or what used to be one. He had put out lettuce, the pot of seasoned meat, the cheese, and shells but had been to anxious to go bother Ginko so he'd just assembled them all himself.
Now there was just a pile of tacos.
i think this is the first time i've used this icon in a thread
Ginko was not going to complain about a pile of tacos. The moment he smelled food, he was practically dragging JW instead of the other way around, still holding onto his arm with one hand.
Well that was unexpected! JW let the tables be turned on him and staggered after him. Once they arrived in the kitchen, he pulled away and looked sheepish about the ridiculous little mountain.
"Told you I got distracted...help yourself." He fixed himself a plate with two tacos, too distracted and overjoyed to bother with self-imposed rules and handed Ginko an empty one. "And don't worry about being neat eating these things. It's not gonna happen."
JW was a lot slower about disposing of his lunch--mostly because he was too busy watching Ginko be happy. He decided that he should cook more often. Usually when they ate, he brought home take-out or something from the gas station in cellophane in attempts to wow the man from the past.
"Thanks. My Mami taught me how to make 'em when I was a kid."
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theattic2015-08-13 03:59 pm
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He started to open his mouth to respond to that, but in the end nothing came to mind. All he could do was take an uncertain step closer - and then, hesitantly, even with his mind made up, Ginko reached out and took JW's hand.
He really, really hoped he wasn't misreading body language here, because if he was he might have to come up with an excuse and leave again, taxidermy nightmare wolf or none.
"...I'm sorry. I'll be more careful."
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Since when did Ginko take hold of him?
He was so unprepared that he didn't have time to hide the color creeping into his nose.
"It's, ah-- it's. It's okay!" THIS IS TORTURE WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? HE'S ALREADY GIVEN UP! HE WAS DUMB TO THINK--ALSO WHY ISNT HE LETTING GO? "Haha you must...really have a fever after all you're burning up."
No, JW, that is you.
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"Ah... right. Listen, I need to say--"
As soon as those words were out of his mouth, he hesitated again. After all that had happened today, he was tempted to just get it over with. Just say it, come what may, but...
But there was still that nagging fear in the back of his mind that Deuteronomy was wrong, and even if she was right...
He didn't even know what he was afraid of anymore.
"...we really need to talk."
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"I think you're right...but listen. If there's something wrong--really wrong, we can get you medical attention. My time period--we can cure a lot of things. We've got--vaccines and all kinds of..." He glanced up at Ginko's face and tried to read it. WAS HE GOING TO DIE?
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And he stared at JW.
"...What? No, that's not--" He shook his head, letting out a quiet, nervous sound that wasn't quite a laugh. He reached up with his free hand to rub at the back of his neck, and he still didn't let go of JW. He might have forgotten he was holding his hand at all.
"I'm fine, I'm not actually sick at all. Promise." Because he knew perfectly well that he tended to... stretch the truth where his health was concerned. But that wasn't the issue right now.
"So, I... I tried to leave earlier."
Yes, Ginko, he probably remembers that.
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"Yeah?"
He had to admit he was still wondering about that. A small part of his brain had wondered if he'd left the room to fart. Maybe that was some kind of manners thing where he was from? But from the look on his friend's face he doubted that was it.
JW's brain went to strange places when he was trying not to get his hopes up.
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"I had... finally realized something that I probably should have a while ago, and I... guess I just didn't know how to process it. Come to think of it, I'm not sure I know now. I had thought maybe I should just... go back and think it over, but I don't know if that even would have helped."
Get to the point, a small part of his mind urged. The rest was busy trying to figure out how to do that - and there was something he had to know for sure first.
"Deuteronomy stopped me, and... she told me something that I'm going to need your confirmation on." He finally looked JW in the eye, trying not to think about how ridiculous his words sounded even to him. "How do you feel about me?"
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Wwhen the wolf was brought up, JW's brow furrowed. "Aw, Deut, what the hell'd she go and do now?"
And then Ginko told him.
For a moment, JW just blinked and wondered if he'd heard that right. Then a jolt ran straight through him and he actually pulled his hand away. It wasn't a recoil of disgust, however, as was evident by his turning scarlet. A lopsided grin finally broke out across his face and he lifted both hands in a helpless shrug.
"Y'caught me. But don't worry about it--I figured out a while ago you weren't interested. I've been tryin' to back off, but damn it, you don't make it easy!" A weak laugh. "Sorry if I made you feel cornered."
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But... at least JW didn't seem to be horrified by the suggestion. So it was better than it could be.
Then he blinked, his brow furrowing. "I wasn't... JW, I didn't even know until today! And, hell, the only reason it even came up is because I finally figured out that I--"
His voice caught again, that rush of anxiety coming back - along with his face turning another shade redder.
They probably look like a pair of nervous tomatoes by now.
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"What? Are you serious? This whole time I thought you were bein', you know, polite about the whole thing."
Ginko had cemented himself in JW's mind as someone who was polite at all given times. Probably because he hadn't seen him actually deal with dumb people who mixed with mushi wrong in person.
JW leaned down just a little so that he could look up into Ginko's face should he try to look away again. He didn't prompt him again, he didn't want to push him even more. He would wait.
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Given that, you know. The last time Ginko actually picked up on someone being attracted to him (because she had just told him outright) he had just left then and there.
It took him another few seconds to get himself to talk again. "It only came up because... well, I don't know when it happened, but I guess at some point I started feeling the same."
The last part came out in a rush, and Ginko was looking about ready to bolt again.
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"Oh," he said. And that time he didn't do anything to push back the enormous, slightly gappy grin. "W-well then! That makes--" And then that god-awful laughter started. He couldn't stop it. He just stood there and laughed and covered his face with a hand and wheezed a little and couldn't stop smiling. "Damn it I--" Still laughing. "Gimmi a minute!" Tears started forming in his eyes. "I don't-- remember what I was going to say! You wanna--you wanna give it a shot?"
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"I-- yeah, sure, I... are you okay?"
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Needless to say, JW did not plan very far in advance for this one.
He noticed that step forward. His whole body was running on overdrive now. He'd gotten confirmation. Suddenly things meant more. Suddenly he had permission for...a lot of things, he felt like. He didn't have to worry about coming off the wrong way because it was okay. He was excited and he was allowed to be excited.
He suddenly brought up both hands and clapped them onto Ginko's shoulders. "Sorry. Tryin' not to float off here."
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He started for a moment, as always, at the contact, then just laughed again and reached up to place a hand on one of JW's. "I... think I know what you mean."
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Obviously the proper response to this is to butt your head against his chest and start laughing again. Only now it's more like wheezing. Something broke, but JW was okay with it. Finally he drew his head away and put an arm around the broader man.
"Are you ready for dinner?"
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He gave a nod, slightly startled by how comfortable he was with JW's arm around him like this (and vaguely remembering a bitterly cold day some time ago, out in the mountains in Japan).
"Yeah. I think so."
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...Ah yeah. That. "Huh. Wonder how that happened." He allowed himself the briefest glance back into the room as JW dragged him out.
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The kitchen smelled amazing and on the counter was a tiny assembly line for the tacos. Or what used to be one. He had put out lettuce, the pot of seasoned meat, the cheese, and shells but had been to anxious to go bother Ginko so he'd just assembled them all himself.
Now there was just a pile of tacos.
i think this is the first time i've used this icon in a thread
"Alright, come on!"
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"Told you I got distracted...help yourself." He fixed himself a plate with two tacos, too distracted and overjoyed to bother with self-imposed rules and handed Ginko an empty one. "And don't worry about being neat eating these things. It's not gonna happen."
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He just grabbed one to start with, but it didn't last long. "Hey, these are really good."
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"Thanks. My Mami taught me how to make 'em when I was a kid."
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"Well, your Mami did a pretty great thing, then."
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