THE FLUFF CORNER

[wolfintheattic]

NO LONGER IN USE

Comments

[iamnotfast]

You lack a pulse, and other functions human bodies need in order to maintain life.

...

I do not understand.

[toothaches]

It's...a condition. Very rare. Don't worry about it.

_{[DAMMIT TERRI.]}

[iamnotfast]

... Your condition does not match any known conditions in my database.

[toothaches]

_{[Maurice spreads his arms.]}

See? Super duper rare!

[iamnotfast]

What is it called?

[toothaches]

Uhm...vampirism.

[iamnotfast]

... Vampirism not found. Suggested substitutions include: Renfield syndrome. Photophobia. Porphyria.

[toothaches]

H-hah! See? Super rare!

[iamnotfast]

[Head tilt. Blink.]

[He totally does not buy that.]

[toothaches]

_{[Maurice keeps his grin until it starts to hurt his face.]}

What else do you want me to tell you?

[iamnotfast]

What else can you tell me about your: condition?

[IS IT STORY TIME.]

[toothaches]

Ah-- uh. Uuuuuuh.

_{[Maurice wrings his hands and looks around as if there was a HOW TO VAMPIRE manual on the wall somewhere.]}

I'm...undead. I died a few years ago, but it's totally okay! I'm fine as long as I have enough blood.

_{[Maurice, why would you tell him that?]}

[iamnotfast]

[Staaaaaaaaaaare.]

[Maybe it would help if there WAS a manual because Baymax looks about as confused as a marshmallow can.]

Do you require a transfusion?

[toothaches]

Sort of, yeah...I guess you could call it that!

[iamnotfast]

I will scan you for blood type now.

[toothaches]

Oh--you don't have to! It's just...any kind will do. For me, I mean.

_{[It's not like he can stop him.]}

[iamnotfast]

Scan complete.

I will now locate a suitable donor.

[toothaches]

Wooah woah! _{[Frantic hand waving!]} You don't have to do that! I can do that myself!

[iamnotfast]

You do not require assistance in: locating a donor for your transfusion? Are you sure?

[toothaches]

Yes! I am so sure! Somebody might see you! You're, uh...sort of my responsibility.

_{[Maurice just has no problem talking to this giant balloon nurse thing as if it were a person.]}

[iamnotfast]

... But you are my patient. Patients are the responsibility of the medical practitioner.

[toothaches]

Oh, I'm not a patient! I'm...testing you. I was told to check you out and make sure you're not some kind of killer robot. I'm just fine!

[iamnotfast]

There are no malfunctions detected.

But your scans indicate you are not 'just fine'.

[toothaches]

Now wait just a minute! Who's the vampire expert here, you or me?

[iamnotfast]

...



I am not a vampire expert.