"I don't think it was. You're going to get the whole household going." Lust slunk into the room on her four little Espurr feet, tiny tail twitching under her pajamas. She stepped on a lock of her own hair and went down on her face with an indignant yowl, tangling herself in fur and curls.
"How did you manage to get up there?"
Asked from a jealous tangle on the floor. She could barely manage to stay ambulatory for more than two steps, he was scaling furniture.
Henry's red eyes grew even wider when Lust did a full on faceplant right in front of him. It was the first ungraceful thing he'd ever seen her do in his short life and before he could even process it, she was asking him something.
To answer, he simply unfurled his admittedly impressive brown wings and gave them a flap. Several things fell over.
Lust's hair and fur were blown back, and she flattened herself against the floor with a yowl. A loose piece of paper blew into her face and she shook it off.
"Yes, yes, I comprehend your amazing wing strength! Don't do that again!"
Lust managed to pick herself up and get to her - four - feet. She felt so unbalanced like this, on her ridiculously tiny on point paws with her back arched.
"For god's sake, come down from there! I'm getting a crick in my neck, trying to look up at you."
Henry seemed even more jumpy and sensitive as a Hoothoot.
A few of the Hootman's primaries parted and a red eye appeared between them. Why hadn't she left yet? Why did she want to look at him? He couldn't even get high with her like this HE HAS NO HAAAAAAAAANDS.
But he ached to please. He wanted to cause as little stress throughout the household as possible so he turned around and fluttered down, finally standing up to his full height instead of his vulture crouch.
"I can't give you that..." Henry said as if he was admitting to some great sin. He hopped toward her with another flap of his wings, scattering pages and candy wrappers around the room. "We could watch television..."
"I know, but it's still what I need." And him, too. But they were stuck like this for now, so Lust sighed, her little tail and ears twitching as she thought.
"I suppose. We can't do much else, can we?" She couldn't even open the fridge by herself right now.
Henry started to lead the way to the livingroom, hopping as he went because owls. When he reached the living room he was hit with a memory. The two of them were rarely alone and as he eyes the sofa, he thinks of how badly he needs to drop out. Maybe if they worked together they could get his ziplock bag open.
Suddenly Henry's red eyes widened and he let out a defeated screech as he dropped to his knees.
"We're pokemon, Lust! We're pokemon! The berries won't work!"
Or rather, they will work. The way they're supposed to.
"...no. No, that's...we're still...oh god, you're right!"
Misery upon misery. Lust's fur fluffed up as she spun in circles, eyeing various surfaces in the house. They couldn't be mutated and then denied even the sweet relief of intoxication!
"What about alcohol? Can Pokemon get drunk? I know I have a bottle of something around here...one of us could pull the cork with our teeth..."
"I don't know but I'm willing to find out!" Urgency finally kicked the owl man into action. He hopped back down the hall and stopped respectfully at the door before following her in. Everything would be better once the world had a nice soft layer of Don't Care over it, like winter snow.
"If all else fails, we can break the top off of it with a--with the back porch steps."
Lust awkwardly ran to her room, sprawling on the stairs more than once but not giving one good god damn. There was a bottle of chocolate cupcake flavored wine under her nightstand, and by all that was holy, they were going to get it inside of them.
"There!" Her tiny tongue darted out when she spied the bottle. She'd been saving it for a special occasion, but this was going to have to do. It was a necessary sacrifice.
Henry charged forward like a soldier and fumbled the bottle out with his wings. He then held it gingerly in the crook of what he had left of his arm as if it were a precious, precious infant. That they were going to devour the innards of.
"Got it. Okay. Um." He sat it down and tried to hold it still with his wing-wrists, but his feathers were too smooth. Henry looked from Lust's urgent face to the bottle. Okay. Okay, he could manage this. HE WOULD PROVIDE. He sat down and tugged his socks off before gripping the bottle with his bare feet. Thank goodness he hadn't developed talons yet.
When Henry had the bottle positioned, Lust set to work. She sank her two tiny fangs into the cork and wrenched her head this way and that. Her face screwed up in effort and she braced her tiny pointed paws against her rug for some sort of grip against the floor.
This...wasn't easy. Her fur stood out on end. Her ears were stiff and stood straight out from her head. Her tail was a small exclamation point. Come hell or high waters, they were going to get inebriated.
Her teeth began to slip and with a feline growl of frustration she adjusted her grip and tugged harder.
"You're doing it. Keep going. Almost there! Almost!" He settled his wings around the bottle to help steady it further. IT was sort of hard to see what was going on beyond that mop of hair but if he hoped hard enough maybe it would come true.
Lust growled and grunted, her little paws scrabbling on the floor as the cork started to give. She wiggled it. She twisted it. Sh jostled it. But mostly she pulled it, and with Henry's help, the cork sprang free with a deafening 'POP!'....
And Lust went tumbling backward with a yowl, arms and legs pinwheeling, the cork stuck on her fangs as wine started to spill out the now open bottle.
Henry let out a screech that was half a cheer and half a shout of dismay. He fumbled the bottle and managed to tip it upright, saving 2/3 of the wine inside. He stared at the spreading puddle on the bedroom floor and thought about how badly he wanted to drop out and forget.
Pretty bad.
He brushed the tips of his wing feathers over the pool and then brought them up to his mouth to suck on. Who gives a fuck?
Lust's panicked address was a garbled mess, thanks to the cork on her teeth. She knocked it against her nightstand to dislodge it, making her head ring.
"You'll get it all dander-filled!"
That was a good third of the wine. That was not going to waste. Most of it had landed on the hardwood. With no shame whatsoever, she batted Henry away and bent to lap at it.
"I don't have dander," insisted Henry as he continued his own method of drinking. Wow, what an interesting taste. He'd only had wine a few times growing up, his alcohol of choice being mostly spiked punch at parties or the occasional sofa beer.
"Well...soon, we won't care." HENRY WASN'T GOING TO STOP. Once they had diminished the floor puddle, he looked back at the bottle. He didn't trust his wings and he sure as hell wasn't going to try pouring it with his feet. Either they were going to have to--
"A BOWL!" His feathers fluffed up in a stroke of genius. "Lust, we need a bowl. Or...or a pan or something. We can knock it over."
Henry's gaze follows hers and before she can open her mouth he is on the job. The hootman gently puts the wine bottle aside and hops over. It's slow work scooting it over to their dining area but by Arceus he does it. Then he sits back down.
"Easy does it." He takes up the bottle again in his blunt wing wrists. "Help me hold it." The bottle slowly begins to tip.
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theattic2014-11-09 07:55 pm
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He tried to cover his face, but since he no longer possessed hands, he just buried it under a wing.
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"How did you manage to get up there?"
Asked from a jealous tangle on the floor. She could barely manage to stay ambulatory for more than two steps, he was scaling furniture.
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To answer, he simply unfurled his admittedly impressive brown wings and gave them a flap. Several things fell over.
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"Yes, yes, I comprehend your amazing wing strength! Don't do that again!"
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"Alright."
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"For god's sake, come down from there! I'm getting a crick in my neck, trying to look up at you."
Henry seemed even more jumpy and sensitive as a Hoothoot.
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But he ached to please. He wanted to cause as little stress throughout the household as possible so he turned around and fluttered down, finally standing up to his full height instead of his vulture crouch.
"Do you need anything?"
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Lust watched him with her overly large Espurr eyes. Somehow, the owl attributes suited him.
"I'm awake now. You're the only one up. And you woke me, so now we can entertain one another."
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"I suppose. We can't do much else, can we?" She couldn't even open the fridge by herself right now.
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Suddenly Henry's red eyes widened and he let out a defeated screech as he dropped to his knees.
"We're pokemon, Lust! We're pokemon! The berries won't work!"
Or rather, they will work. The way they're supposed to.
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Misery upon misery. Lust's fur fluffed up as she spun in circles, eyeing various surfaces in the house. They couldn't be mutated and then denied even the sweet relief of intoxication!
"What about alcohol? Can Pokemon get drunk? I know I have a bottle of something around here...one of us could pull the cork with our teeth..."
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"If all else fails, we can break the top off of it with a--with the back porch steps."
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"There!" Her tiny tongue darted out when she spied the bottle. She'd been saving it for a special occasion, but this was going to have to do. It was a necessary sacrifice.
"If you can grip it, I'll chew the cork out."
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"Got it. Okay. Um." He sat it down and tried to hold it still with his wing-wrists, but his feathers were too smooth. Henry looked from Lust's urgent face to the bottle. Okay. Okay, he could manage this. HE WOULD PROVIDE. He sat down and tugged his socks off before gripping the bottle with his bare feet. Thank goodness he hadn't developed talons yet.
"Pull!"
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This...wasn't easy. Her fur stood out on end. Her ears were stiff and stood straight out from her head. Her tail was a small exclamation point. Come hell or high waters, they were going to get inebriated.
Her teeth began to slip and with a feline growl of frustration she adjusted her grip and tugged harder.
The cork started to give.
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"You're doing it. Keep going. Almost there! Almost!" He settled his wings around the bottle to help steady it further. IT was sort of hard to see what was going on beyond that mop of hair but if he hoped hard enough maybe it would come true.
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And Lust went tumbling backward with a yowl, arms and legs pinwheeling, the cork stuck on her fangs as wine started to spill out the now open bottle.
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Pretty bad.
He brushed the tips of his wing feathers over the pool and then brought them up to his mouth to suck on. Who gives a fuck?
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Lust's panicked address was a garbled mess, thanks to the cork on her teeth. She knocked it against her nightstand to dislodge it, making her head ring.
"You'll get it all dander-filled!"
That was a good third of the wine. That was not going to waste. Most of it had landed on the hardwood. With no shame whatsoever, she batted Henry away and bent to lap at it.
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"This is nice."
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And what a pain that was, in daily life. Lust continued to greedily lap at the spilled wine. It had to work.
"Chocolate wine is my favorite."
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"A BOWL!" His feathers fluffed up in a stroke of genius. "Lust, we need a bowl. Or...or a pan or something. We can knock it over."
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God, there was fur in her mouth. Again. It seemed to get on everything and then promptly migrate to her tongue.
"Yes, a bowl...but we can't open cabinets, how in the world are we supposed to...."
Lust's eyes fell on Amoz's water bowl, in the corner of her room. The shiny Houndour was asleep on the bed.
It was something. And it was already on the floor.
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"Easy does it." He takes up the bottle again in his blunt wing wrists. "Help me hold it." The bottle slowly begins to tip.
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