Maurice, you could never be as big a nerd as Hanna, it's impossible. You're still a cool kid, he promises.
When he completely avoids answering the question though, Hanna isn't sure what to say. He's coughing sure, but that doesn't sound right, or even real. "What's wrong with you...You're acting really funny, I mean, funnier than you were before."
The dead man made an unhappy, reluctant sound and broke eye-contact. It felt like a shame since he'd gotten so good at it too. Plus it didn't hurt that Hanna's eyes were pretty and he didn't have a troublesome reflection in his glasses getting in the way.
"Um. I...guess." He fought back a real cough, now afraid that Hanna might be upset with him and he didn't want to sound any more avoidant than he already was. Now his color was changing even through his fever and now that he was actually hot he felt it. "I guess. I like it. Some."
He pushed the hair out of his face and fumbled with his shirt collar, his claws tearing little holes in it.
"The. Songs are. Catchy. And. Funny." WHY WAS THIS SO HARD. He had performed a goofy mechanic-themed strip tease for this man and somehow telling him that he liked musicals was more embarrassing? Okay, brain. "I just. I'm not used to..."
He was fidgeting, nervous. Hanna wasn't sure what to think of his behavior, why he was suddenly so dodgy, but...god. What was he even talking about? "You like what?" Even when he continued, Hanna wasn't entirely sure.
Were they still talking about Rocky? "You're not used to what?"
He shifted on the spot and sat up straight. This was so stupid. It was SUCH a stupid thing to not want to talk about. He guessed old ingrained fears died hard.
"Um. Okay. It's dumb. It's REAL dumb please don't think that I think you or anybody else is--" He made a face and held pu his clawed hands as if he were about to reveal some reality-shattering secret. "I'm really, really-- I don't usually. Fuck." He covered his face and spoke through his hands. "Hanna, I love the shit out of musicals and I don't tell anyone because I'm afraid they'll make fun of me. Because I used to be that guy."
Hanna blinks at Maurice, waiting for something hard to take, something difficult, but, when he opens his mouth? He blinks again, really stare, and it's confusing. "Wait, what?"
That was it? Usually he would be comforting, tell him it's okay, but Hanna is just staring at his sick boyfriend wondering what on earth he can say to make him feel better. "Maurice...You do realize that I got beat up for thinking that the Fae were real, right? Back in school? But that didn't stop me from still thinking they existed, and telling people they did." His point wasn't to make him feel bad, wasn't to remind him that he used to be 'that guy', just...
"Just because someone can make fun of you for it doesn't mean you should be afraid to even talk about it. What's stopping you? I mean, you're big enough to tell them they're stupid and to stop laughing, they probably would. So why are you afraid at all? You like it, so what? What power would anyone hold over you if they found out? None. None at all."
"Yyyyyeah, but I guess when I mean to say I made fun of people...I also kinda. Beat the shit out of 'em. I used to not be a great person. Like. Even remotely. But. It's not because I thought it was stupid."
He rubbed the back of his neck. Oof, this was going to be tough if Hanna was going to get the full story. Especially after he just finished talking up his momma.
"It's got a lot to do with like--I used to be in theater. When I was little." His face manages to lose a little color despite his illness. It wasn't a happy memory and as he spoke, he looked more and more ashamed.
"Maybe...middle school? Ish? Sam had just gotten into highschool. Anyway, when she came home pregnant with Carol, Mom flipped her shit and decided nobody else could mess up our family. So I got yanked outta drama real fast. She didn't want there to be a chance that I was a sissy or gay or whatever. So I guess it became a...defense mechanism? For a really long time. She's not like that anymore though! You saw--and she loves me! Us! She loves us!"
"Oh." That was kind of funny, in a messed up way. The person he just talked about, beating him up? That could have been Maurice. It makes him think of the cliche story lines in shows, how characters beat the shit out of the ones they like because they're afraid to admit they like them. Bullying was...complicated, he always knew that, but it was weird to hear it from an ex-bully, who he just so happened to be dating.
As he continued, Hanna's lips pursed, not really sure of what to say, but nodding, "I...I don't doubt she does. She gets so happy when she see's you happy, and I can respect that...I'm sorry I kind of, made you have to dish the whole thing." Maurice is sick, he shouldn't have to stress out even more. "And you know, I didn't go beating people up, but I was kind of mean to people when- yanno. I lost my parents." He's quiet, but in situations like these, he knows sharing always helps, even if his stomach is doing really weird things. "That's kind of why I...I'm used to being alone. I was a huge asshole and all my friends just gave up and left. I obviously got better, like. I'm not like that any more, but I can kind of get where you're coming from. Acting out because you're afraid."
This information came in a double blow. He had puzzled it out by now that Hanna's folks were no longer in the picture but he didn't really know why. It hurt to think of Hanna spending so much time completely alone. And the second one--he couldn't even fathom it. Hanna was the kindest, most generous, most supportive creature he'd ever met. He couldn't imagine him being cruel to anyone.
On the other hand, he guessed people who didn't know Young Maurice would say the same thing about him. He was shy and a coward. Your neighborhood friendly vampire.
Hanna was incredibly witty though. He guessed, he could imagine him saying some mean things.
"It's okay...I'm sorry I made a huge deal out of it. It just came outta nowhere and I couldn't stop. Habit, y'know?" He let himself cough a few times. Even though his chest still felt full of some unidentifiable gunk, it suddenly felt lighter. "Good thing we met each other when we did, then, huh?I woulda...I woulda stuffed you into a locker for sure. Haha..ha. That's not funny. I'm sorry."
Hanna almost laughs, shaking his head, "I was a little worried there though. I thought something was like, wrong, or I had said something...like." Perhaps in some medicine filled healing of his brain he realized that drugged up, Hanna was not the dude for him and he just didn't want to admit it. Hanna's worried thoughts obviously escalate quickly, but he feels that sometimes it's warranted. Maybe.
And, Hanna, who had just been thinking the same thing, actually did laugh at with him, "No, no. It kind of is, you're totally right. I can almost picture it, but I don't really know what you looked like back then." He kind of just...pictures a shorter version of the Maurice currently in front of him.
"Sweet Puhtadah, no, it--" He hacked again and made a face. "Oh, ew, it tastes bad. Sorry. It's all me."
His wobbly smile became more genuine. Wow, it's finally out. It's off his chest. He kind of wants to cry again but that would be awkward. Instead he drew in a long sniff.
"Just imagine a thinner, angrier me without fantastic hair." He ran his claws through his--sweaty locks. Oh ew. He frowned a pitiful frown and tried to ruffle his hair so that it would stand up. He was a wreck! This cold was really kicking his ass. NOW IT WAS AFFECTING THINGS THAT MATTERED.
"But...when I'm better. I could totally go for a Double Feature. Maybe even--Washatog. They're kinda artsy. Maybe they'll put on a play this year. Because I'd like--" He started to turn colors again and his hands drifted back to his face. "Have you ever watched A Midsummer Night's Dream? Or--or heard of it?"
He can't easily imagine a thinner Maurice either since he hasn't ever seen anything of Maurice that isn't how he is now. He kind of wants to see pictures, he'd be a cute teen, even if he had a jock haircut. "One of these days we should just...pick out something we would have worn back in high school at a store and try it on for each other." It'd be a fun experiment, even if Hanna knew that as much as a mess his wardrobe was now, the one he had back then was even worse.
He wraps his arms around Maurice's shoulders, resting his chin on them and smiling. "I just told you I got beaten up for believing in faeries, how could I have not?"
"That one is--it's really good. It's so good. Have you--well you probably have. I haven't--talked about this with. Anybody."
The closest he came was sitting in the back of those drama classes that were more about reading plays than putting on plays in college. Nobody had even known his name.
"I have a VHS of Little Shop of Horrors around here somewhere. I've been, uh. Hiding it." He was so happy to see Hanna's smile again after worrying him. Maurice turned and bumped his nose agaisnt Hanna's. "Haha, I'm game, but get ready to be really underwhelmed. I haven't dressed differently since I was a little kid. Y'know that old Ozzy shirt I have? The one that's kind of thin and faded? That thing's from college!"
"Hey, it's okay. We can watch them together though And if you want, we can do it when Meranda isn't here. Just you and me." And if he's honest, he'll have to admit that he loves little shop of horrors himself because it's just that awesome.
"Oh, that's nothing. You know my shoes? I've had those since before my-" He swallows, changing his wording of choice, "sixteenth birthday."
The true knowledge of Hanna's halted growth spurt isn't so glamorous, but Hanna doesn't mind so much, laughing as Maurice pulls him into his lap, his arms coming around him. "H-hey, you're still sick, you're going to cough all over me if you're not careful!"
He doesn't seem to want to move though, settled easily in Maurice's lap, a hand coming up to play with his slightly damp hair, helping it stick straight up. "There, now you're beautiful."
Maurice only rolled his eyes upward to watch Hanna muss his hair. He didn't shy back or bare his fangs or otherwise threaten him. He just let him do his thing. He let him touch the mullet.
He laughed, nodding, "Just gotta be home before the sunrises." Though, as soon as he's said it, he realizes that something is a little off about this. Usually he didn't like his hair played with.
He'll follow his joke up with some real concern, "You okay? I mean, I know you're sick but...usually you put up more fight than no fight at all."
"That's cause it actually does something when you play with it. Mine is just a mess all the time. Definitely not as fun." He'll smile at the opportunity he's given though, creating a horn out of his hair on top his head. "Maybe I can make you a unicorn."
"It is a little thin...have you tried usin' product on it?" Maurice opened an eye and watched Hanna's face as he FINALLY GOT TO DO THE THING. Then the other eye opened. "You should let me play with it!"
"Do I look like I have enough money to buy stuff just for my hair? I'd rather have brand name cereal." He's got his priorities straight, at least for himself. Not that he minds if Maurice spends money on his hair. That was his thing, just not Hanna's.
He looks at him dubiously though, raising an eyebrow, "What's that smile for..."
It takes a moment for Hanna to realize that what he said might be construed differently than what he'd meant. The look on Maurice's face was an easy hint that he had accidentally been kind of, well. Cross.
"Wait, wait. I didn't mean it like that! Promise!" He immediately looked guilty, "I was just saying, that's more your thing, but I don't want to ruin your fun either..." He kind of looks like a kicked puppy himself, mirroring Maurice's expression. "I wouldn't mind, promise!"
The vampire was already backpedaling rapidly. He'd shared one thing, maybe it was too soon to share another. He didn't know how this kind of thing worked. Maurice broke eye-contact.
"Hey, look at me." Hanna's hands drop from Maurice's hair to catch both cheeks, grinning at him when he maybe squishes them together enough to make Maurice pucker up, kissing him in quick succession, "You don't have to be sorry, I didn't mean to sound like a huge ass, so I'm sorry." He lets him go, though gives him another kiss that isn't quite so silly, settling in his lap again.
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theattic2014-11-09 07:55 pm
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When he completely avoids answering the question though, Hanna isn't sure what to say. He's coughing sure, but that doesn't sound right, or even real. "What's wrong with you...You're acting really funny, I mean, funnier than you were before."
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"Um. I...guess." He fought back a real cough, now afraid that Hanna might be upset with him and he didn't want to sound any more avoidant than he already was. Now his color was changing even through his fever and now that he was actually hot he felt it. "I guess. I like it. Some."
He pushed the hair out of his face and fumbled with his shirt collar, his claws tearing little holes in it.
"The. Songs are. Catchy. And. Funny." WHY WAS THIS SO HARD. He had performed a goofy mechanic-themed strip tease for this man and somehow telling him that he liked musicals was more embarrassing? Okay, brain. "I just. I'm not used to..."
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Were they still talking about Rocky? "You're not used to what?"
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"Um. Okay. It's dumb. It's REAL dumb please don't think that I think you or anybody else is--" He made a face and held pu his clawed hands as if he were about to reveal some reality-shattering secret. "I'm really, really-- I don't usually. Fuck." He covered his face and spoke through his hands. "Hanna, I love the shit out of musicals and I don't tell anyone because I'm afraid they'll make fun of me. Because I used to be that guy."
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That was it? Usually he would be comforting, tell him it's okay, but Hanna is just staring at his sick boyfriend wondering what on earth he can say to make him feel better. "Maurice...You do realize that I got beat up for thinking that the Fae were real, right? Back in school? But that didn't stop me from still thinking they existed, and telling people they did." His point wasn't to make him feel bad, wasn't to remind him that he used to be 'that guy', just...
"Just because someone can make fun of you for it doesn't mean you should be afraid to even talk about it. What's stopping you? I mean, you're big enough to tell them they're stupid and to stop laughing, they probably would. So why are you afraid at all? You like it, so what? What power would anyone hold over you if they found out? None. None at all."
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He rubbed the back of his neck. Oof, this was going to be tough if Hanna was going to get the full story. Especially after he just finished talking up his momma.
"It's got a lot to do with like--I used to be in theater. When I was little." His face manages to lose a little color despite his illness. It wasn't a happy memory and as he spoke, he looked more and more ashamed.
"Maybe...middle school? Ish? Sam had just gotten into highschool. Anyway, when she came home pregnant with Carol, Mom flipped her shit and decided nobody else could mess up our family. So I got yanked outta drama real fast. She didn't want there to be a chance that I was a sissy or gay or whatever. So I guess it became a...defense mechanism? For a really long time. She's not like that anymore though! You saw--and she loves me! Us! She loves us!"
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As he continued, Hanna's lips pursed, not really sure of what to say, but nodding, "I...I don't doubt she does. She gets so happy when she see's you happy, and I can respect that...I'm sorry I kind of, made you have to dish the whole thing." Maurice is sick, he shouldn't have to stress out even more. "And you know, I didn't go beating people up, but I was kind of mean to people when- yanno. I lost my parents." He's quiet, but in situations like these, he knows sharing always helps, even if his stomach is doing really weird things. "That's kind of why I...I'm used to being alone. I was a huge asshole and all my friends just gave up and left. I obviously got better, like. I'm not like that any more, but I can kind of get where you're coming from. Acting out because you're afraid."
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On the other hand, he guessed people who didn't know Young Maurice would say the same thing about him. He was shy and a coward. Your neighborhood friendly vampire.
Hanna was incredibly witty though. He guessed, he could imagine him saying some mean things.
"It's okay...I'm sorry I made a huge deal out of it. It just came outta nowhere and I couldn't stop. Habit, y'know?" He let himself cough a few times. Even though his chest still felt full of some unidentifiable gunk, it suddenly felt lighter. "Good thing we met each other when we did, then, huh?I woulda...I woulda stuffed you into a locker for sure. Haha..ha. That's not funny. I'm sorry."
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And, Hanna, who had just been thinking the same thing, actually did laugh at with him, "No, no. It kind of is, you're totally right. I can almost picture it, but I don't really know what you looked like back then." He kind of just...pictures a shorter version of the Maurice currently in front of him.
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His wobbly smile became more genuine. Wow, it's finally out. It's off his chest. He kind of wants to cry again but that would be awkward. Instead he drew in a long sniff.
"Just imagine a thinner, angrier me without fantastic hair." He ran his claws through his--sweaty locks. Oh ew. He frowned a pitiful frown and tried to ruffle his hair so that it would stand up. He was a wreck! This cold was really kicking his ass. NOW IT WAS AFFECTING THINGS THAT MATTERED.
"But...when I'm better. I could totally go for a Double Feature. Maybe even--Washatog. They're kinda artsy. Maybe they'll put on a play this year. Because I'd like--" He started to turn colors again and his hands drifted back to his face. "Have you ever watched A Midsummer Night's Dream? Or--or heard of it?"
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He wraps his arms around Maurice's shoulders, resting his chin on them and smiling. "I just told you I got beaten up for believing in faeries, how could I have not?"
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The closest he came was sitting in the back of those drama classes that were more about reading plays than putting on plays in college. Nobody had even known his name.
"I have a VHS of Little Shop of Horrors around here somewhere. I've been, uh. Hiding it." He was so happy to see Hanna's smile again after worrying him. Maurice turned and bumped his nose agaisnt Hanna's. "Haha, I'm game, but get ready to be really underwhelmed. I haven't dressed differently since I was a little kid. Y'know that old Ozzy shirt I have? The one that's kind of thin and faded? That thing's from college!"
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"Oh, that's nothing. You know my shoes? I've had those since before my-" He swallows, changing his wording of choice, "sixteenth birthday."
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"Oh my God. You're just. So tiny." He flung his arms around him and haled him onto his lap. "My little tater tot!"
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He doesn't seem to want to move though, settled easily in Maurice's lap, a hand coming up to play with his slightly damp hair, helping it stick straight up. "There, now you're beautiful."
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Maurice only rolled his eyes upward to watch Hanna muss his hair. He didn't shy back or bare his fangs or otherwise threaten him. He just let him do his thing. He let him touch the mullet.
"Now I can go to the ball."
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He'll follow his joke up with some real concern, "You okay? I mean, I know you're sick but...usually you put up more fight than no fight at all."
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"I'm fine, keep going. You always wanna mess with my hair."
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Suddenly he had his full, stea knife smile.
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He looks at him dubiously though, raising an eyebrow, "What's that smile for..."
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"Oh. Nevermind."
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"Wait, wait. I didn't mean it like that! Promise!" He immediately looked guilty, "I was just saying, that's more your thing, but I don't want to ruin your fun either..." He kind of looks like a kicked puppy himself, mirroring Maurice's expression. "I wouldn't mind, promise!"
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"I'm sorry, I just forgot."
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"You're fine, really."
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