PSL: Dragon Fails

[goldeneyeball]

THREAD LOG
First impressions are important.

Comments

[goldeneyeball]

_{[A weak laugh.]}

Wouldn't that be something. Well. Good luck in the...war.

_{[And he turns to slither back to his hovel and start piling up the dirt and rocks again with his short little forearms.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

[There's a beat of silence. A muttered Oh no, from Sideswipe. Ratchet's weight shifts, and he plants another foot squarely on the end of the noodle-dragon's tail.]

Come along now. That's a good child.

[goldeneyeball]

_{[JW's spine straightens out like a rod and his chin hits the ground from the force of the stop. Forgetting himself, he twists around and bares his fangs at the golden.]}

I am not a child!

[stabbywheelfeet]

[Said golden dragon simply stares at him, eyes narrowed a fraction. His partner gives him worse every day when it's time to check the scars for healing.]

Compared to me? You most certainly are. Are you coming? Or shall I resort to incapacitating and dragging you?

[goldeneyeball]

<sub>[JW struggles against Ratchett's talons and even flaps his wings in attempts to fly away. He twangs back into place like a reluctant balloon. He doesn't want to use his breath weapon on the dragon that just helped him.]

[This is a problem.]</sub>

I am a grown up dragon! I have my own cave and my own hoard and I could kidnap a princess at any given time if I wanted to!

_{[He's never seen a princess in his life.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

Kidnapped me all right...

[Sideswipe you're not helping, and not earning any sympathy at all.]

[The golden dragon remains unfazed.]

Yes, you're certainly acting as a mature, rational adult. Tantruming this way.

[goldeneyeball]

YOU KIDNAPPED YOURSELF, YOU METALLIC MORON!

_{[JW opts for biting again against the golden's protective scales and gets another toothache for his troubles that lights up the whole side of his muzzle. Giving up, he stops flapping and flops to the earth in a sorry heap.]}

I'm a horrible warrior, you don't want me!

_{[He rolls belly-up.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

I did not!

[Wow.]

[These children. On one side is an indignantly squawking silver, and on the other is a pathetic flopping noodle. Ratchet just. Slowly looks back and forth between them.]

I'm not CONSCRIPTING you, you fool. You're a GUEST.

[goldeneyeball]

<sub>[JW doesn't respond to Sideswipe, he just continues to writhe on the ground and try to make himself look like the worst candidate for war possible.]

[Until what Ratchet says makes its way into his thick skull.]</sub>

A guest?

[stabbywheelfeet]

Yes. Until the rains pass. And your... hill... dries out.

[Sideswipe, meanwhile, huffs, and sucks his neck down into his shoulders as much as possible. Mostly due to having to be dragged home to dad and dad.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[JW rolls over and stands up again, giving his humble abode a thoughtful look. The rains were serious business. Finally he let out a smoggy sigh.]}

I'll come. Let me get my things.

[stabbywheelfeet]

Good. We'll wait outside.

[Sideswipe gets only another squawk out before he's unceremoniously hauled out of the hole. Protesting to his parent's deaf ears all the while.]

[goldeneyeball]

<sub>[With his tail free, JW wanders down into his lair. Then he wanders deeper where he kept more precious things like paper and cloth. He's gone for a while--almost long enough for one to suspect he's slithered off somewhere to one of his many back doors but suddenly his head appears once again.]

[Around his neck is a bundle made of cowhides stitched together and a scrap of colorful cloth that could only be for decoration. It was a human shirt, the arms just long enough to tie around his throat to make a scarf for him.]</sub>

What should I call you?

[stabbywheelfeet]

[Okay, so Ratchet ends up sitting on his child to keep Sideswipe from slinking away -- He's not coming back, the silver was protesting. But Ratchet is determined to make it up to the noodle through the power of hospitality.]

[They both tilt their head in unison at the thing around JW's neck. Like father like son, in that regard.]

Ratchet--

Because that's the first thing he tried to eat when he didn't even have teeth.

[And thus Sideswipe earns the third swat to the head in an hour.]

[goldeneyeball]

<sub>[JW opens his jaws to reply when the exchange between the two takes place and before he knows it, he finds himself chuckling in his throat. He could grow to like this golden dragon. When he wasn't stepping on his tail.]

[With one last look at home, the long dragon spreads his tiny wings and takes off again, circling overhead until the other two take off and lead the way home.]</sub>

I'm James...

[stabbywheelfeet]

[And off they all go! Sideswipe gets to take the lead, so he doesn't slip off somewhere while hanging in the back. When he sets the pace too slow, he gets a nip for his slacking.]

That's a human name, isn't it? [Pause.] Ironhide is my partner. I'll... speak with him first.

[goldeneyeball]

_{[He doesn't comment on Ratchet's observation and just keeps his face angled into the wind.]}

Good idea.

_{[He's content to fly in silence but his guts have other plans, electing then to complain loudly. He'd been going going going all day.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

What was that?

[Oh hey, is that a cue to slow down? And delay the inevitable Large Dad Lecture? It sure is. Sideswipe has flipped his neck around, looking at them upside down.]

Did you say something?

[goldeneyeball]

_{[He banks to the side to make room for Sideswipe to join them where they fly.]}

Not with my mouth.

_{[James isn't entirely sure if it's polite to ask if they had anything non-metal to eat in their lair. He didn't see a single animal or a human skirmish during his fly-over.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

... Oh. Right. You don't eat metal.

[Weirdo. Except he makes a face -- maaaaaaybe he should have piped up about that sooner. Like before they left.]

[... judging my his parent's expression, yes, yes he should have. He flips around even further -- flying backward somehow.]

Look, it'll be fine! You want him to stay so bad, he can go eat fish with whoever's down in the lake.

[A+ job explaining what the fuck you're talking about child.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[JW snaps his wings outward and stumbles in the air for a moment. Sideswipe's stunt startles him but once he shakes it off he can't help but marvel. Flying backwards! Eating metal! These dragons were something else.]}

Fish sounds amazing right about now. You don't eat any meat at all?

_{[He can't imagine life without delicious fish or fallen soldiers or birds! And bread. He misses bread so much.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

Nope! None! Aren't we great?

[That smug smile is quick to fade because Ratchet, the doctor is going to butt in and explain.]

We DO. At certain points in life. Hence why the lake exists at all.

[goldeneyeball]

_{[JW can't help but be a little fascinated. Would his diet suddenly change one day?]}

When's that?

[stabbywheelfeet]

Lame times. The lamest.

[He gets his wing nipped for the quip, before Ratchet answers, as matter-of-factly as possible.]

Before we have teeth to chew the ores with, and while carrying offspring. It's actually rather bland compared to gold, I would say.

[goldeneyeball]

Hmmmmm. I think we're going to have to agree to disagree, sir.

_{[As a hatchling, he'd chewed on his share of gold and he remembered the empty cold taste.]}

Have you tried cattle?