PSL: Dragon Fails

[goldeneyeball]

THREAD LOG
First impressions are important.

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[goldeneyeball]

_{[His coils start to bunch up as he thinks back over the last few months. So something had stirred up the humans. He had thought they were only fighting themselves like they always did!]}

Well you could have said something about that BEFORE!

[stabbywheelfeet]

You didn't ask before!

[Like that's going to make any difference here, geez Sideswipe.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[The olive dragon is fit to tie himself in a knot. He stretches out his arms to make a few feeble gestures at Side Swipe before letting them fall back to the dirt.]}

Well...maybe they won't find me underground. And I guess you don't want anything to do with them either. I could show you inside...

_{[Don't do it, James, think of your treasure!]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

[He watches those hand movements, looking skeptically back and forth between JW and his hands.]

Oh, sure. Until they sic the Driller on you. Then it'll dig you out in about five minutes.

[He blinks slowly, tilting his head back and forth.]

Inside... with the treasure?

[goldeneyeball]

Inside where there's shelter.

_{[He says this pointedly as he gathers himself up and flattens his purple sail. The long dragon trots haughtily to the far end of the little cliff where they rested and slithered between a broken scrub tree and a large boulder. Then he starts digging with his back feet to widen the hole.]}

I guess this is sort of my living room.

[stabbywheelfeet]

And treasure. Right? There's treasure too?

[And yes, he is scooting along after the other dragon, trying to peer around him while he digs, looking for the aforementioned treasure. He can't actually see it, of course, but damn does he ever try.]

Uh huh. Sure. Is there treasure?

[goldeneyeball]

_{[Derrgun stopped digging so that he could back all several dozen feet of himself out of the hole and turn to frown at Sideswipe.]}

Is treasure all you care about?

[stabbywheelfeet]

Right now? Kind of.

[goldeneyeball]

_{[He puffs himself up in frustration.]}

Shouldn't you be caring about, oh, I dunno...YOUR SCALES?

[stabbywheelfeet]

Pfft. Why do you think I want the treasure? It makes me look gorgeous.

[He's going to preen a little now. Don't mind him.]

[Or do, because he's going to try and push his nose in the hole.]

[goldeneyeball]

Not your SCALES scales! Your hide! Your life! Wh--HEY!

_{[He brings the rattly end of his tail down on Sideswipe's nose.]}

This mountainside is delicate! If you dig wrong the whole thing will collapse and that means no treasure!

_{[After shooing the silver dragon aside, James starts digging again, this time all of him disappearing down the long tunnel. He was gone for what felt like an hour as plumes of earth sprayed the opening. Finally the mouth of the cave widened enough for Side Swipe to worm his way in if he folded his wings tightly enough.]}

Come on!

_{[At the end of the tunnel, there was a large-ish chamber carefully dug from the stone and rock. And it's gloomy. The only light comes from the tunnel itself and a few small holes that serve as skylights and vents. And the floor is covered in treasure. Most of it is armor and weaponry but there are coins and gems scattered throughout. He's spent several years hoarding from battlefields and with how makeshift the nest is, this is not his first nor his last burrow. A few other tunnels led elsewhere but none of them had been widened for his guest's convenience.]}

You can have this one.

_{[He offers Side Swipe a single silver plate.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

I can handle myself! I've fought before, okay!

[And then he jerks his head back with a hiss, like a startled cat. He has to restrain himself from swatting at the tail with his claws, and settles for hunkering down, glowering.]

I wasn't going to hurt your stupid mountain...

[But fine, he'll wait. He doesn't want to go home and explain to Smaller Dad why he's covered in bruises. They'll just fuss. Or worse. Which is unbearable and embarrassing. So he waits, passing the time by preening himself in earnest. Hey, if he's going to go crawling through a hole, he might as well look pretty in the process.]

[He... regards the resulting hole in disdain. He's not a broad dragon, but he's lanky. And the prospect of having to fold himself up like some common digger is insulting. But... treasure...]

[The treasure is what gets him. So in he goes, wiggling and huffing indignantly the whole while. Up until he can stand back up and vigorously shake himself all over to rid himself of any and all imagined dust.]

... It's. Hm. This is larger than I thought you'd make.

[Since JW is so long and snakey and -- oh. A plate. His eyes brighten immediately, before dimming, and his lip curling slightly.]

All this -- [He gestures around with a wingtip.] -- and you're only handing over a plate? How stingy can you be! I thought you were worried for my scales.

[goldeneyeball]

_{[The cliff dragon, meanwhile, has already circled around a couple of times and settled down so that he can watch the mouth of his cave. He worries about this dragon war that's supposedly coming. He doesn't want to join ANYBODY.]}

Gotta have room to turn around. And you just HAD a suit of armor! It was an expression!

_{[A human expression.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

[He huffs, sitting down daintily, and snagging the plate with a claw. He still looks incredibly offended, however.]

So what? It's only going to make me more gorgeous. Besides, it wasn't shiny enough.

[As he delicately crunches down onto that plate.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[JW just lets out a gusty sigh tinged with green smoke. Side Swipe was lucky he was so pretty. He rested his chin on one coil and tilted his head so that he could see the ghost of his reflection in the other dragon's wing.]}

Are there many pe--humans in your territory?

[stabbywheelfeet]

None. They all died.

[He sounds so nonchalant about it, too, while he finishes off that plate. And... promptly sniffs about for more.]

No big loss.

[goldeneyeball]

_{[He doesn't have the energy to swat at him this time.]}

Humans mean treasure. You think dragons made all this?

[stabbywheelfeet]

Why not? It's pretty, isn't it? Why would humans make anything worthwhile?

[Sideswipe that's racist. And he paws at a bit of the hoard, looking for anything that catches his eye. Oh, hello pile of coins.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[Wow, yeah, his PARENTS were human! Sort of.]}

It's kind of their thing. Humans love treasure. That's how they tell each other apart--by who has the most.

[stabbywheelfeet]

[Yeah well his dad could beat up your dad!!!]

Well, that's stupid. If they can just make more of it, why does that matter?

[Om nom coins.]

[goldeneyeball]

It's--complicated. Nevermind.

_{[He wasn't going to bother going into economics.]}

But--the treasure can't be the only reason you came back, can it?

_{[He uncoils enough to lay on his side and prop the base of his neck up on a forepaw in a dramatic pose he'd seen in many paintings.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

Fine, whatever.

[It's probably a good thing JW doesn't. He wouldn't have listened anyway.]

[He pauses, though, in horfing down all those coins. Watching him with one bright blue eye. What even is that pose.]

Right. I didn't want to be cooped up at home until we had to go fight again. So. Here I am.

[goldeneyeball]

_{[JW deflates slightly and his head falls limp to the ground like a noodle. Oh. He rolls back over and returns to his pile-of-rope position. He then notices his coins are disappearing.]}

Hey! Hey hey hey! Didn't your dads teach you any manners?

[stabbywheelfeet]

[Just give it time, you big noodle.]

[Sideswipe, however, flicks a wing at him, and keeps on nosing around for more coins.]

Nope. Too busy. Probably. I wasn't listening.

[goldeneyeball]

Well here's a lesson! You don't just walk in and start eating somebody else's--anything!

_{[Huff puff huff!]}

I'm hiding you from your parents and that's it!